


Last Memory

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: Evil Space Dads [39]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a happy ending(?), Anxious Hux, Brief injury mention, Dad AU, Established Relationship, M/M, The force is the galaxy's best reset button, Vaguely implied past mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 21:51:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9461759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: After Ren almost dies after a mission, Hux promises himself he's not going to argue with him anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaannnd here is This Thing lmao  
> Just wanted to write something sad w a happy ending but. Then. Well.  
> EDIT: WHOA this is my 100th Star Wars fic/kylux fic !!! :^O !  
> Edit.2: put this in the wrong series oops lmao.

**Last Memory**

A medical droid hovered by Ren's bedside, checking his vitals and changing bandages, applying fresh bacta packs and new IV lines. Hux sat at the other side, on a flimsy chair that'd been dragged over for him from a conference room. His daughter was asleep in his arms, and his breath hitched every time an injury was exposed.

Ren was in a bad state, an earlier droid saying that although he was stable, he had the greater potential in getting worse rather than improving. The medics were sure he wasn't going to make it if he didn't start getting better soon, and Hux believed them. It was looking like the Knight wasn't ever going to wake up.

The droid chirped, hovering over to him, and stuck out a syringe. Hux held out his wrist, and the droid administered the nutrient injection. It handed over a nutrient bar as well, which he ate as the droid continued checking on Ren. 

As soon as it completed its tasks, the droid hovered out of the room. Hux finished his nutrient bar and scooted closer to Ren's bed. He took the man's hand, feeling how cold it was. Looking at Ren, all the bandages, needles, and a tube down his throat, Hux could feel tears welling up. He honestly doubted that Ren would survive. The bacta tanks were out of commission, and the smaller bacta patches he already had weren't doing the trick, so he needed hands on care, and luck. 

What made it all worse was that if Ren died, his last waking moment with Hux was of them fighting, their daughter crying as they screamed at each other. Ren had thrown things with the force, almost going to hit Hux at times, and Hux had come close to harming him as well. Their daughter's last memory of her father would be of him shouting, and being shouted at, terrifying her. Hux had started the argument, so it was all his fault that those last moments would be that way.

Rubbing circles into Ren's hand with his thumb, he desperately hoped that Ren wouldn't die. He'd never fight with him again, as long as Ren lived, he vowed quietly to himself, looking down at their daughter.

-

Ren pulled through, and Hux was grateful. When he was finally released from the medbay, Hux left his shift as soon as it ended, ignoring the usual pile of work he'd do afterwards, to go back to his quarters. Ren was there, and their daughter squirmed to be let down so she could run up to him. Ren scooped her up.

"Did you miss me, Seren?" 

She nodded. "Mhmm! Mum missed you too!"

"Oh, did he?"

"He was _really_ ," she dragged out the word for far longer necessary, making Hux flush, " _really_ sad!"

"Is that so?"

"I suppose it was... obvious that I was worried." She'd woken up when he started crying in the medbay, and he'd explained to her that he was upset because he was scared for Ren. He hadn't explained to her exactly what he was scared for, not wanting her to be too upset. Seren got the hint that she wasn't supposed to go into it any further, and turned back to her father.

"Can we play, Papa?"

"Sure."

-

Hux didn't push away Ren when he wrapped around him during the night like he usually did, pressing into the touch. It was a huge relief to finally have him back, to touch his skin and feel the warmth of it, his steady pulse. Even if he got overheated, he didn't want to let go of Ren.

Seren crawled into bed with them during the night, unused to sleeping by herself after weeks of sleeping with Hux. He pulled her up and let her jam herself between them, safe and sound, content as she slept. He brushed her hair from her face, watching over both her and Ren until he drifted into sleep himself.

His alarm blared in the morning, waking him and Seren up. He quieted it and reluctantly pried himself out of Ren's arm. Seren sat up, expecting to be brought up to the bridge with him, but Hux gently pushed her back down and told her to go back to sleep. Ren was still asleep, the alarm never enough to wake him.

The medics had instructed that Ren was to get more rest, so he left him alone and got ready for his first shift. Seren was still up, watching him. "I'm going to work, darling. You can stay with your father today, get him all caught up on what's going on. Let him sleep, though."

"Okay."

-

They almost had their first fight since Ren was cleared shortly after he came back from his last shift and a quick dinner in the mess hall. Ren was on the floor doing pushups, and Seren was giggling on top of him, holding onto the back of his shirt.

"Ren! What are you doing? You're supposed to be resting! The medics gave orders!"

"I'm fine. I need to get my strength up, not lay about like I'm useless. The medics don't know what they're talking about."

Before he could say anything back, he noticed that Seren had gone quiet, and was looking between them nervously. He hesitated, remembering his vow to himself, and then said, "You do know your body better than the medics." He went up to them, and gave a smile to Seren. "Are you having fun?"

"Yeah!" She brightened up instantly, seeing that the tense moment was gone.

"Did you two eat yet?"

"About twenty minutes ago."

"Mum, do you want to try?"

"I shouldn't."

Ren looked up at him, "I can take it."

"No." He quickly added, seeing that Ren looked annoyed, "I need to get out of my uniform and shower."

"Afterwards?"

"...Maybe."

-

Since he was terrified of arguing, and Seren looked nervous when Ren offered again, Hux ended up agreeing to get on his back while he worked out. Seren found it great, but Hux was worried that at any moment, Ren would pull something and his wounds would be aggravated. His thoughts must have been broadcasted somehow, because Ren stopped. 

"I'm not weak, Hux!"

"I know."

"So stop thinking about how I'm going to hurt myself when I'm not!" As his voice raised, Seren shrunk in on herself.

"I'm sorry, I just get worried. I can't help it."

"I'm fine!"

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just... tired, and stressed. I should go to bed, I'll feel better in the morning. Seren, you can stay up and play with your father."

"Really?"

"Yes. You missed out on a lot of play while he was in the medbay, so you should make up for it."

"Okay!"

-

When Ren finally climbed into bed, much later than he'd like, Hux moved closer to him. "I'm sorry, I was just worried-"

"You're _not_ starting this right before bed."

Hux slowly moved back to his side of the bed. "You're right, my apologies." Seren was standing next to the bed, so Hux pulled her up. "Goodnight, sweetie."

"Night, Mum, Papa."

Ren hugged Seren to himself, mumbling a goodnight to her, and Hux turned onto his side so he was facing away from them. He found that he couldn't fall asleep.

-

It'd been two weeks since he was released from medbay, and Ren was sick of Hux apologizing. They'd always argued occasionally before, and now it seemed like if he were to suggest throwing Seren out of an airlock Hux would agree with him. He was purposefully trying to irritate him now, little things that usually brought on a snap or an icy glare, but instead Hux would meekly go along with it.

He'd spied on him on the bridge, where he was acting the same as ever, but as soon as Hux was faced with him, it was like he was a different person, some weak-willed, pathetic stranger that was too terrified to stand up for himself.

The only good thing about it all was that he could finally hold Hux during the night, and that he got to spend more time with Seren. Yet, Seren missed Hux, not getting to spend much time with him.

His little tests were failing. Hux hated sugar with his caf, but didn't mention anything when Ren gave him a cup with a lot in it, saying that it was fine and thanking him for it. Leaving the bed a mess didn't bring a snap of 'clean up after yourself', just Hux quietly making the bed. He didn't even yell at him or get mad when it was his fault Seren got hurt. That one had been an accident, he had truly been intending to have fun with her when she fell, but it still proved his point.

He didn't want to have to dig into Hux's head for the answer. Hux wouldn't trust him again if he did, but he didn't know how to ask and get a real answer without Hux backing out to appease him.

His final test was going to be using Seren. If Hux didn't protest, he was going to wait for Seren to fall asleep and demand an explanation for his behavior.

"I want to be with Mum," Seren said sadly. "I miss him."

"Sure. I'll take you to him." If Hux failed this, Seren was probably going to cry, so he felt guilty already. She was excited, bouncing in his arms. Near the bridge, he put her down and nudged her. She took off, and Ren watched from afar as she ran up to Hux.

Hux picked her up, smiling brightly. He adjusted her so she was on his hip, and Ren could see her talking to him. He waited a few minutes, and then walked onto the bridge. "Seren! There you are!"

As he approached, Hux's happy expression morphed into one of anxiety. Seren looked confused. "Ren?"

"I've been looking all over for her. Come on, Seren, I've got something for us to do in the gym."

"But-" She tightened her grip on Hux, not wanting to go. "I want to stay with Mum."

Hux looked a bit sad. "Oh. Well, if you were going to do something with her... Seren, go with your father."

"I want to stay with you!"

"I'm busy, Seren, you should stay with Ren. You'll have a lot more fun with him than with me." He pried her off and handed her over to Ren. She was in a state of disbelief, staring at him with her mouth open. As Ren took her away, she slumped against him. Guilt was radiating off of Hux.

-

Seren was crying by the time Ren brought her back to Hux's quarters. He sat on the edge of the bed and held her, patting her back to try and calm her down. She wouldn't let up. Hux had definitely failed. He'd never willingly given her up when she wanted to be with him before, no matter how busy he was. 

Eventually, she stopped crying, but she was still upset and didn't want to do anything or talk much. She ate when he gave her food, but wouldn't speak. He put her to bed early, and stayed with her until she fell asleep, using a bit of the force to persuade her.

-

Hux came back earlier than expected, looking guilty. He seemed surprised that only Ren was in the room. "Where's Seren?"

"Asleep."

"Oh..." Hux's dejected tone gave away his crushing disappointment. "I came back early to- well, she needs her sleep. I'll just work at my desk."

"Came to what?"

"I- I was going to spend time with her, to make up for earlier. It's no big deal, I can do it tomorrow." He sounded scared, almost, and Ren couldn't place _what_ he was scared of. It was something to do with him, but it wasn't _of him._ Hux went into Seren's room, and sat next to her. He gently picked her up, and brought her back into the bedroom. He laid her down on his bed, and tucked her in.

"Hux, can we talk?"

"Yes. What is it?"

"You've been acting weird lately, ever since I got back."

"I... I've been stressed." Hux was already trying to get out of it, not standing up for himself. "I'm sorry."

"You only act like this around me! You're completely normal when it's anyone else, but the moment I'm in your sight you're timid and weak and go along with whatever I say!"

"I'm sorry-"

"I could suggest throwing Seren out of an airlock and you wouldn't protest! What's wrong with you? You used to be passionate and confident and now you're just _this_!"

"I just..." Hux trailed off. Ren waited, but he was silent. 

"Maybe I should just leave, so you'll be happier." He couldn't see what he could do to change this.

"No!" Hux slapped a hand over his mouth, shrinking in on himself. "I mean- please... don't leave."

"I can't take this, Hux. You're not even you anymore, and it's my fault, somehow. Even Seren noticed it. You were the only person who ever treated me like an equal and now you're just like any whimpering lieutenant that thinks I'll choke them when they speak. I'd never hurt you!"

"That's not what's wrong..." 

"Then tell me! I can't fix it if you don't!"

"It's not your fault- I'm just worried." Seren mumbled, moving a bit. Hux turned around to rub her arm. She woke up, but neither of them noticed. Hux faced Ren, but his eyes were cast down to the floor.

"Worried about what?"

"...About you."

Ren scowled. "I'm fine!"

"I know, I know..."

"If you do, then you shouldn't be so pathetic!" This was going terribly. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No! It's my fault! You didn't do anything!" Hux's eyes widened.

"What did you do, then?"

"It's stupid, just forget about it..."

"I'm not going to! Not until you tell me what's going on!"

Seren started crying, and Hux looked horrified. He quickly picked her up, holding her close and looking guilty. "I'm just afraid."

"Afraid of what?"

"Before you left on that mission, we had that big fight that I started, and we were both screaming and Seren was terrified, and then you left before we could make up. And then you came back injured, and-" Hux hugged Seren tightly. "And I thought you were going to die. That your last waking moments with me would have been of us fighting. Seren's last memory of you would have been me screaming at you. So I promised myself that if you pulled through, then I would never fight with you again, in case something happened to you. A-and here we are... Fighting, because of me."

"Oh." Ren instantly felt terrible. "Hux, you should have told me."

Hux shrugged, rubbing Seren's back and trying to soothe her. Ren sat next to him on the bed and wrapped his arms around them. He waited until Seren finally calmed down, and then let them go so Hux could tuck her back in.

"Hux, why don't we just... go to sleep," Ren put a hand on Hux's forehead, "-and forget any of this ever happened." Hux slumped unconscious in his arms, so Ren laid him down. He gave Seren the same memory treatment, and adjusted them so he could hold them both close.

**Author's Note:**

> ;^)
> 
> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr! @Oblioknowlton


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